Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
