Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
