I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
