a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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