you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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