why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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