Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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