I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
