My first STD was from a foam party
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
