The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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