You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
