idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
