Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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