i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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