I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
