I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize