like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I want a musical about memes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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