I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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