so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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