I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You were trust falling into bushes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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