i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
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By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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