You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
