My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
