can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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