just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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