It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
