For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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