D3 body, D1 cock
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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