time to smoke my breakfast
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
