You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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