I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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