Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm really into asian looking animals
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
