so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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