Pappa wants mamma naked
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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