Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
