I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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