OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
