i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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