She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
