Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
