I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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