In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize