I wanna passion pit in your ass
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
