I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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