He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize