The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
