Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
