Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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