I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
