You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
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Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
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I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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