Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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