he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
