uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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