I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
