idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
