but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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