I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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