Christians are straight up FREAKS
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The uberlube is also flammable
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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