i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
