In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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