No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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