So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
