everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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