I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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