Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
