I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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