I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
