I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
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The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.