Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.