talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
