The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...