I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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